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Lu Curates a lifestyle blog by Melissa LuVisi

Curators Circle
Sacramento
(908) 941-2230
Lu Curates is lifestyle blog written by Melissa LuVisi centered around art, style and travel. Life is how you curate it!

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Lu Curates a lifestyle blog by Melissa LuVisi

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"Dude.... you're not in a safe and social space" Adventures in Tinder dating.

August 8, 2019 Melissa LuVisi
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Yet another Tinder date lands on my calendar. I’ve been sprinkling these in, here and there. Being in sales I have to believe dating is a numbers game. If you pitch 100 times, one person should be a good fit, right? That’s the theory at least.  

I show up, I’m feeling positive. Our text communication was fun, uplifting and enjoyable. We go to a local Sacramento Pub get a drink and start playing darts. He asks me about my job and we started to settle in, so I thought.

One of the first modalities I learned in therapy was the Polyvagal Theory. Keep in mind, I am not a doctor, knowing or reading my journey is NOT a replacement for therapy. I’m here to share my stories to encourage others that real change is possible…

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In Lifestyle, Inspiration Tags dating, onlinedating, polyvagal, vagus nerve
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Starter Budget

October 16, 2018 Melissa LuVisi
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Here is a quick example of the budget my partner and I are working on. We both put away $1,000 in a joint bank account which we use for all of our shared expenses. We use an auto-generated template in Google Drive. If you go to the drop down menu New < Templates, you’ll see what I’m talking about. They have a Monthly Budget and an Annual Budget.

The funny thing is that before my current partner, I was notorious for dating accountants! Ok, the last one was in corporate finance (which is just a glorified accountant). I think the reason is that I was insecure about my own earning power. I chose people to be “fail safes,” hoping that they would in some way rescue me from having to address my lack of budgeting.

Instead of leaning into the discomfort and addressing my budgeting skills. I avoided them. The power is in learning that you should only be spending $50 a week on food. That sometimes we have to say no to eating out because 1) It’s rarely a healthy food choice and 2) It isn’t in the budget! For me in particular, eating and drinking out can be unhealthy coping mechanisms or habits used to numb or distract me from the stresses of life. It’s a fine line I have to ride.

Money conversations are not easy but once you have a plan in place, it becomes easier. It might mean that we need to work an extra night shift to subsidize that dream we are working on. There is no shame in having a side hustle or pursuing our own creativity. I can promise you, not having to worry about choosing between paying your credit cards or the electric bill frees up a world of artistic space and energy.

Is this helpful? A lot of you have asked for it. I know it might feel basic to some of you, but for others I hope it takes some of the fear out budgeting.

In Homemaking Tags budget, partner, dating, money, finances
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Comments on Online Dating

February 4, 2016 Melissa LuVisi

Being single seems to be a pervasive phenomenon. For example... Are you going to see the new movie, “How To Be Single?” I am. Hell, I might even go after my Match.com date tonight, then come home to a glass of wine, cuddle up with my phone, and contemplate switching dating sites. Is OkCupid still a thing? Or a hole in the internet now reserved for couples looking to meet their unicorn?

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In Lifestyle Tags dating, onlinedating, tinder, okcupid, match.com
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