What would your inner rockstar look like? How would you dress if everyday you put your best foot forward? These are the questions fluttering around my head recently as I contemplate what my rebrand is going to look like and how I want to move forward into the new year. To begin the process of 'hammering it out', this morning Dom and I got up early to do a quick photo shoot before his bus came.Read More
Self-care isn’t something that comes naturally to me. If given choices of what’s best for me or others’ I love, I choose them… not trying to sound like a martyr, it’s because I often fail to set boundaries.
The reason I’m writing about this is because when I make these seemingly ‘selfless choices,’ they bubble up and attach themselves to unresolved pain like maggots on dead flesh; possibly also know as PTSD. I carry them around deep inside of me in a pressure cooker until all that stress causes me to lose my mind, exploding into a depressive human no one wants to be around. Mental health is a thing!Read More
Turning 30 made me acutely more aware of my skincare practices. As a single lady who is dating, it takes one late night of indulgences to wake-up looking like the crypt keeper. I recently found myself investing in facial creams and finally getting around to washing my face at night (no more dirty pillows).
A couple days into our trip Sarah and I decided to head to Hammam. The look on our hostess and her sister’s face should have indicated what a vulnerable experience it would beRead More
Traveling from LA on a business trip I had a run-in with my very first Match.com date. AWKWARD. Dating Tip of the week: Never vape on the first date! We all have our vices but it’s terrible idea to lead with them. So, vape master, and I got to talking. He was on his way back from South America which prompted me to share about my impending trip to Morocco. It was a typical traveling pissing contest between two people that never actually dated.
Out of nowhere, this model like creature, floats across the airport at the mention of Marrakech. She was an entrepreneur from Portland who travels there frequently. Her and I quickly became Facebook friends before boarding our respective flights.....Read More
I recently was diagnosed with PTSD. This summer I went through a 12 week therapy/parenting course where my therapist told me that taking in my brother has triggered the trauma of my traumatic childhood and that the two of us are probably triggering one another without even realizing it.
The diagnosis was actually a relief. One more thing I can blame my biological parents for. There’s something so self-deprecating about depression that having more of an understanding as to why it’s been taking over my life this last year opens up a door to self-care. So many people told me when Dom first moved in with me that I needed to take care of myself… I didn’t know what that meant until recently.
Unlike parents who have babies who then grow into teenagers and have years of cute little moments to love and cherish their young before they turn into hormonal monsters; Dom and I were thrown into a new family life and structure without a rule book.
Additionally, it’s stressful being the only financial provider for one's family. While running my own business affords me the opportunity to attend every water polo game and run errands; it isn't always consistent. After I came back from Morocco, I had to move into a new apartment in under two weeks. It was expensive and stressful. Some friendships ended and I began to realize who would love me at my worst.
To add salt to the wound, I lost two thirds of my income in June. I’ve never owned my own business before. I was lucky at how fast things took off a couple years ago. If I’m being honest, I should have been more responsible. The reality is I was just a foster kid making more money than I ever had in my life. Basically, I was running around like a real estate agent right before the economy crashed in 2008.
Part of self-care is accepting your mistakes and forgiving yourself.
Luckily, things are looking up but that’s why the website was down. It’s crazy how one minute you can go from not being able to afford food and getting your groceries from a food bank to potentially making more money than you were the year prior. I’m still working this shit out, but I guess that’s life right?!
So that’s my update friends! I still have some good stories from Morocco to come and want to thank all of you for your loyalty.