Last summer, I did an audit of the top six people I was spending my time with. It turns out, I was spending most of my time with friends or lovers that weren’t showing-up for themselves in the same ways I wasn’t showing up for myself. I knew if I was going to move forward I would need to end those relationships.  Afterwards, I worried that my life would feel empty. I needed to replace my negative friendships with people who were making better decisions in their lives. Pick your flock, that’s what my foster mom says. We are a reflection of those we surround ourselves with.

Here are three positive changes that cultivate community and helped me build healthier relationships.

Growing-up I didn't have good financial modeling. When my biological family fell apart my parents were hundreds of thousands of dollars in debt. I have struggled my entire life trying to learn how to manage my money appropriately.

I almost had to drop out of UCLA my junior year because I decided to stay in LA for the summer and take on a multicultural internship with the Getty Museum. When I accepted the position, I didn’t realize that my first paycheck from the Getty wouldn’t arrive until after my apartment deposit for the following semester was due. I simply miscalculated when the funds were going to post.