I decided that my new year doesn't start until February 1st. Which works out nicely considering my birthday is in February... New year, new me! One of my New Year's resolutions is to meet more creatives and surround myself with people who inspire me. For example, last week I met with a local weaver and a photographer from instagram. In the spirit of getting to know more people, I also accepted an invitation to eat caucus tacos on a school bus turned tiny home with a man who climbs trees for living. I wrapped up the weekend enjoying Sacramento's urban baths, reconnecting with friends in between hot saunas and cold plunges. What is an urban bath you ask? Well, it's my latest find!Read More
I recently was diagnosed with PTSD. This summer I went through a 12 week therapy/parenting course where my therapist told me that taking in my brother has triggered the trauma of my traumatic childhood and that the two of us are probably triggering one another without even realizing it.
The diagnosis was actually a relief. One more thing I can blame my biological parents for. There’s something so self-deprecating about depression that having more of an understanding as to why it’s been taking over my life this last year opens up a door to self-care. So many people told me when Dom first moved in with me that I needed to take care of myself… I didn’t know what that meant until recently.
Unlike parents who have babies who then grow into teenagers and have years of cute little moments to love and cherish their young before they turn into hormonal monsters; Dom and I were thrown into a new family life and structure without a rule book.
Additionally, it’s stressful being the only financial provider for one's family. While running my own business affords me the opportunity to attend every water polo game and run errands; it isn't always consistent. After I came back from Morocco, I had to move into a new apartment in under two weeks. It was expensive and stressful. Some friendships ended and I began to realize who would love me at my worst.
To add salt to the wound, I lost two thirds of my income in June. I’ve never owned my own business before. I was lucky at how fast things took off a couple years ago. If I’m being honest, I should have been more responsible. The reality is I was just a foster kid making more money than I ever had in my life. Basically, I was running around like a real estate agent right before the economy crashed in 2008.
Part of self-care is accepting your mistakes and forgiving yourself.
Luckily, things are looking up but that’s why the website was down. It’s crazy how one minute you can go from not being able to afford food and getting your groceries from a food bank to potentially making more money than you were the year prior. I’m still working this shit out, but I guess that’s life right?!
So that’s my update friends! I still have some good stories from Morocco to come and want to thank all of you for your loyalty.
There are two camps when it comes to New Year's Resolutions. Either you love making them, or you don't.. I’m here to say, I LOVE resolutions. It doesn’t matter if we start making them at the beginning of the year or on a random Wednesday. Call me a hopeless optimist, but it takes courage to acknowledge a struggle and then try to change it.Read More
I woke up parched. Grabbed some water and look at the clock. It was 3:30 in the morning except this Thursday, I had nowhere to go. So why on earth was I awake at this ungodly hour? I spend the next few hours trying to sleep before grabbing Dom and heading to the pool deck for early morning water polo practice. I fully intended on crawling back into my comfy bed but driving back home I realized I had a choice. I could choose to be happy or at least complete one of my “happy tasks,” before 6:30am.Read More
After watching Shawn Achor’s Tedx Talk on Happiness, I’ve been inspired to participate in his experiment. He has proven that in 21 days you can rewire your brain to be happier. As you know, it’s challenging for me to commit myself to a daily practice. But here I am, trying anyways.
The challenge is:
List 3 Gratitudes
Journal at least one positive experience a day
Give random acts of kindness
I’m thankful for my work. It allows me the freedom to live where I want. My business supports both me and my brother. I’m very lucky it’s thriving.
I’m thankful for my adoptive family. They are amazing, kind and loving.
I’m thankful for my roommates who in actuality are co-parenting my brother with me. They truly have become an integral part of this journey.
30 mins of cardio at the gym
Arms day of weight training
15 Mins of Meditation
Random Acts of Kindness
- Sent a text message to my brother in New York to let him know I was thinking about him and that I love him.
"The chimes of my alarm slowly woke me up at 3:10am. I rolled out of bed, threw some dry shampoo in my hair and put a pot of water on. I grabbed the hot chocolate and two to-go mugs from the cupboard. I rubbed my eyes but I wasn’t as tired as I thought I’d be. This morning was the Perseid meteor shower and I had convinced a new friend to join me.
We’re in that beginning stage of attraction where we can talk endlessly, but haven’t figured the other person out or the role either of us will play in one another’s lives. We laid on the lawn of a local elementary school, giggling at shared stories, innocently sipping hot chocolate and staring at the night’s sky. After a couple hours we nervously looked at one another before scurrying off to our respective responsibilities.
Friends? Lovers? Drinking buddies? It's fair to say that the verdict is still out."