I joined Rachel Hollis’ #Last90days challenge. The challenge is to end the year strong in order to start 2020 with confidence. For me it's about brain science and proving to ourselves that we can indeed change our habits! I did this challenge last year and gave up two weeks in.
She has you do what they call the 5 to Thrive. Look it up on instagram if you are interested. One of those 5 things is to eliminate one food category you know isn’t serving you. I’m doing sober October. For the last year I have been cutting back on my alcohol consumption quite a bit and 30 days sober doesn’t feel all that challenging. That isn’t to say I haven’t wanted to drink. I have definitely wanted to drink! But I’m getting more comfortable with myself in challenging situations. I’m learning how to sit in my feelings.
Learning how to sit in my own feelings is a big milestone in therapy. Admittedly it is not something I like to do. Silence often equated to a lack of safety, sadness or loneliness. After months of working on this I can finally start to cope with those feelings and they don’t feel nearly as heavy as they once did. Finally, I am experiencing my feelings within my window of tolerance.
In my opinion there are two schools of thought when it comes to psychology. There are the diagnosis heavy therapists aka those who are quick to label people as bi-polar, ADHD or even depressed. Then there are therapists like mine who take a step back and believe that diagnosis are the product of trauma. It isn't until you heal the trauma that you are able to diagnose. Why? Because all the characteristics of said diagnosis can present on a grey scale when trauma is present.
And news flash: WE ALL HAVE SOME SORT OF TRAUMA.
Healing my trauma is really where all of this begins. My family fell apart and I was a highschool dropout, I have a complicated relationship with my biological parents and I chose to parent my Deaf teenage brother at the young age of 28 years old. I’m the victim of what they call chronic trauma. The cool thing is that brain a phenomenal. Neuro-plasticity tells us that we can unlearn any bad habits and it extends to habits/responses directly affected by our nervous system.
In my experience, as I’m living it now in real time, I’m able to back those responses into my window of tolerance and consciously evaluate and understand them. For so many years, I felt life was driving me. I was just a pile of reactionary responses and unfortunately hurting both myself and those around me in some cases. However, I’m also not allowed to shame myself on this because shame spirals help no one and frankly for all the “hurting” I’ve done, I have also truly helped others.
Brain science shows us that we can re-train our brains to eliminate many bad habits, change the way we view the world and even displace negative genetic trauma markers that may have been past down from the many generations that came before us.
We literally are in control of our own lineage. I think it’s such a cool time to be alive. We have access to so much information, knowledge and culture. Now the questions is how do we leverage it and make sure that we are the ones driving the car not the bright little boxes in our pockets.
Like what you’re reading? Here’s the the thing… the algorithms are killing any sort of reach I might have since I’m not as consistent as I once was my engagement has died. So if you like what you see please share, add comment, etc. it all helps. But more importantly sign-up below. I don’t have newsletter yet but I’m going to spend the quarter collecting emails…
